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everyone laughed like a bastard
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[29 Nov 2009|07:11pm] |
it's been a while, eh?
let's see...
I'm not walking at graduation because i was unaware of a £2,000 debt.
I'm moving back to the United States in less than 3 weeks.
Thanksgiving was wonderful.
Whatever is standing in the way of my happiness is like a stutter. It is a broken record of regret and self-pity and I am going to mend the warp & reset the needle.
Frightened Rabbit, Casiotone for the Painfully Alone, Akron/Family, Andrew Bird, Laura Marling, The Dodos, The Antlers, Lewis & Clarke, Grizzly Bear, Friendly Fires, Phoenix, Malcolm Middleton, Monsters of Folk, Conor Oberst & the Mystic Valley Band, Ray LaMontagne, Mumford & Sons, They Might Be Giants, Fleet Foxes, Elbow, Efterklang, Dirty Projectors, Cut Copy, The Cave Singers.
And much, much more!
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| stolen! |
[02 Nov 2009|12:45pm] |
What I am...
Reading:
Watching:
Listening to:
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[15 Oct 2009|02:16pm] |
doing one of those bi-monthly "oh my god stop feeling sorry for yourself and let yourself be happy" epiphany things... so it's a good day.
ALSO just got my portfolio back
dun
dun
dunnnnnnnnnn
b2!!!! (the scoring goes a 1-5, b 1-5, c 1-5 etc.) This means i get an MLitt "with Merit"!!!
yay, i'm excited!
ETA:
okay maybe not with merit, i kind of forgot about all the other marks that need to be averaged in. hahaha. well, MAYBE with merit. anyway for the amount of time i spent on my portfolio this is pretty great.
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[08 Oct 2009|04:27pm] |
i wanna steal this too. from ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) kashmir1 and holycitygirl.
Post a picture in my comments that you think describes me when you think about what/who I am. No matter how surreal or plain.
Give no written explanation.
Just an image.
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| embarrassing cyber-crush entry; inevitable. |
[08 Oct 2009|03:35pm] |
dream:
before i knew it we were on the phone, i had been sleeping & could barely focus but he talked to me, was sweeter than ever & had a gorgeous accent. he played me a song over the phone and when i sat up on my mattress in a parking lot, he was in the second car from me, i saw the back & side of his head, he was perfect, and i laid back down as quickly as i could so he wouldn't see me. he seemed to look around as if he knew someone had glanced him, but didn't get out of the car before i woke up.
reality:
today on the subway i almost cried as soon as i thought about what it would be like if we ever actually met, thinking he would take one look and be disgusted. thinking that if he ever saw me for real and still called me beautiful i'd burst into tears.
it's not surprising at all that i finally "meet" someone who thinks i'm okay and it will never be completely real or tangible and i will never fully believe it. it's not surprising that i'm getting worked up over some virtually (no pun intended) faceless person that probably does not think about me nearly as much as i think about them. it is not surprising that i'm getting drawn into something i've always condemned. it is not surprising that i am acting like i'm 13 again.
on the other hand, he tells me we fit like legos & tells me he loves that i'm a nerd & he draws me pictures of poo & we watch nature documentaries together & he sends me music & he loves the letters i send him & he tells me i'm unlike anyone else. he makes inappropriate jokes and makes sure i go to bed early enough for work the next morning.
one day, kids. one day i'll be able to put a "clinically" in front of that currently lonely and absurd little "insane" that resides on my name tag.
i need to relax and enjoy this for what it is.
this is totally mortifying, by the way, so let's keep it between us and the interwebs, shall we?
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[28 Sep 2009|12:26pm] |
I really want to have a good Halloween costume this year. The last few years I have either neglected to dress up or done it completely lamely and last minute. So this year I want to get a jump on things. I've been thinking about it for the last week or so, and today after talking to my Dutch friend, he reminded me of what I should have known this whole time.
I'm going to be Anne Frankenstein.
Too bad I no longer have the Salval dress & shoes that I used to dress up as Anne Frank (yeah that's right I've done it before) at Arthur's dead celebrity party. I will do some thrift shop searching and this could be totally epic if I work it out.
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[22 Sep 2009|08:58pm] |
"your problem is the same as mine - difficult to transmit the living juice from gut to outside speech, almost impossible. and not to pat our broken backs, but I think that's the way the good guys fail." -buk to blazek
I don't want
to be lumped in
with "women",
these sucking,
suckling cunts
with no desire but to
reshape a man into
a pleasurable thing
he fits into her pussy
perfect
buys her accessories
& kitchen appliances.
I am not one of them;
I am nothing, no one,
a man under
the tits & tears
"Do you think I'd paint if I'd nothing better to express than this rotten self? If my self was made of decent material I could relax with it, but self-disgust keeps forcing me out after the truth, the truth, the truth!" gray (in Lanark; Thaw to Mr. Thaw)
It's pushed on us -
this claim to meaning
& this desire for truth.
Santa Claus
for grown-ups.
We know it's not real
yet here I am
up at midnight with a plate of cookies & a glass of milk & the empty sky.
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[11 Sep 2009|02:55pm] |
last night went to ASIA STYLE with cimei, robin & brad, had an amazing Mongolian pancake (as always) and crispy beef (also as always). We then went to The Black Sparrow, where we'd walked past several times going to Chinaski's but never actually entered. It was all leather booths & impressive whisky & good volume judgment. Robin & Brad gave me a gift (weed! haha awww.) and eventually Sara showed up, having brought me a chocolate muffin & a birthday candle for midnight.
came home, had a whisky & a blunt with shannon, nick, and cimei where shannon was finishing up the carrot cake she made me (nom i can't wait), and the cherry cobbler she baked (which we already tried. bangin.) Today she's making an angel food cake. We will have lots of cake.
Ummm work was fine though I was pretty tired, came home and napped.
my Dutch pen pal that I wrote to/talk to online pretty regularly sent me a birthday present. what!? he told me yesterday and I was quite surprised to hear it.
So I get a big box in the mail today and it turns out to be this "Become a Laird/Lady" thing - equivalent to those things where you buy a star - except when you get it you own a square foot of the Scottish Highlands (and apparently then meet the technical requirements to be a "Laird" or "Lady"). There was a card explaining that even though it's not a tattoo I can always have a part of Scotland with me. Ummm, cute?? So sweet! As a nerd & a sucker for well-placed cheesiness, I am thoroughly impressed; especially considering there was absolutely no need to send me anything.
now I'm cleaning my room before cleaning the bathroom & heading to the co-op for necessary party items/alcohol/ingredients for the zucchini bread i'm going to make for shannon.
also it has been sunny all day! (except i just looked out the window when i typed that and it is decidedly not sunny.)
this was probably quite boring. it's mah birfday, i don't care!
<3
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[08 Sep 2009|02:46am] |
spent the last of my money on
Elbow - The Seldom Seen Kid
and
Olafur Arnalds - Found Songs
these two songs remind me so much of Jonathan. the whole album is gorgeous, these make me think about him so much:
A friend of mine grows his very own brambles
they twist all around him till he cant' move
beautiful, quivering, chivalrous shambles
what is my friend trying to prove?
The booze turns a tall gentle boy to a terrible totem
And the kids gather round trying to see what's inside
I think when he's drinking he's drowning some riot.
What is my friend trying to hide?
Cause it's breaking my heart, it's breaking my heart.
And it's breaking my heart to pour like the rain.
Brother of mine don't run with those fuckers.
When will my friend start singing again?
and
Before leaving get to the bar
No one round here makes you pay
Never very good at goodbyes
So (gentle shoulder charge)
Love you mate
Love you mate
Salford skyline blue
Always you
Could fly round any corner
But until you do
Love you mate
unbelievable.
so pretty.
here are links to both of these songs performed live with the bbc concert orchestra
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_kk9WZ2zLw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eruQmLGHFUg&feature=related
ETA: is he CRYING at the end of "friend of ours"?!??!!? JESUS. ME TOO, GUY. ME, TOO. That song kiiind of just punched me in the gut really, really hard.
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[03 Sep 2009|02:54pm] |
I think I might buy a Kalimba with part of the birthday money I get. They're pretty cheap!
I also want another tattoo. I would like to find a way to have something Glasgow-related integrated with my first Glasgow tattoo, but I'm not sure how it would work. I want the Govan/ River Clyde cranes:
I actually really, really like the first image. Hm.
Anyway... another reason why Glasgow is great:
So I'm at work, on Tuesdays and Thursdays we clean 3 trailers (a canteen trailer, an office trailer, and a toilet trailer) at a construction site. So the guys who work there are all dead nice, and it's only slightly strange for me and Carole (my boss) to be the only women there. She's finishing up mopping the toilets today, and this guy is waiting to go in, so he asks me where I'm from, tells me he's going to New York next week for the first time, etc., the three of us are chatting about whatever. Then he goes to me, totally casual, "so, you get any action?" "huh?" "you know, seen any Scottish boys?" i'm like "uhh nah" and he goes "you know, i read in the paper, and pardon my french, but apparently scotsmen have the biggest cocks in britain." aaaand me and Carole almost pissed ourselves laughing. It wasn't even particularly funny, but the casual nature with which he told two strangers that was fucking great. He wasn't even being creepy at all, just totally friendly. fuckin' love it.
I have successfully started my first pen pal relationship as the recipient received his letter today (and loved it! yay!). Kind of weird to write to someone who I talk to online every day, but I'm really glad I actually got off my ass and brought it to the post office the day after it was written, seeing as usually I have a severe problem ever getting to the post office. The first time I was in Scotland I wrote a postcard to my grandmother then just gave it to her 4 months later at Christmas.
Hmm guess I should background info this: I started talking to this guy online like 2 weeks ago, we "met" playing isketch, HA, he's dutch and fuckin' hilarious. he is trying to finish up his film studies degree, is a really good speller and is amazing if only because he said to me on the second or third day we were talking: "Did I tell you about the SciFi/Horror movie I'm working on? It's called The Diary of Anne Frankenstein." If it had been real life I think it would be true love. Anyway, whatever we will never meet in real life but he's very cool & thinks I am cool, so that is fun. And now we're pen pals! Can't wait to get a letter back from him! I am pretty skeptical about actually "knowing" people through the internet, but I mean Nicole & Darren have been friends for like 8 years now because of some message board, and I met him in real life & he's awesome. I shouldn't be too judgmental.
Really I do want a Kalimba. Like 25 bucks or something! Maybe I'll play my violin today.
OH by the way all of this has been made possible by the letter D for Done With My Masters. Errr... hopefully. Assuming I pass.
Does anyone know anything about external hard drives? What happened is that I plugged mine into Shannon's Mac in order to get music from her, but she had to do something to allow the mac files to work, only now when I plug it back into my PC I can't access anything because it's formatted for the mac or some shit. HELP ME. I want my itunes back so I can make my pen pal a mix cd! ALTHOUGH i have to say, a few youtube playlists have really done me well and I've found some new music that I love quite randomly.
gotta finish downloading the 90 hours of gervais/merchant/pilkington radio show.
can't wait for this first weekend after all my is finished! it will be glorious.
I am going to post on laughedlike.blogspot.com today methinks, i have totally ignored it in the throes of dissertation agony. For our hand-in celebration, mad of us booked the cinema at Gilmorehill and watched Starship Troopers (had never seen. Didn't know it was She's All That with alien bugs. Fucking awesome.) and Spinal Tap (had also never seen. don't judge.) while drinking lots of free wine and having a beer lotto (picking random beer/cider from a bag. you don't lose at that game.) then had a drink at the primary, and back to mine where we watched a 20 minute argument between T and Nick about Blade vs. Batman.
Saw (500) Days of Summer yesterday, and I did enjoy it. Summer was a fucking bitch and I can't believe he let her get away with it (the hand holding on the bench? what a fucking slut, she knew exactly what she was doing to him). And the very end was pretty lame. But overall I was a fan, Joseph Gordon-Levitt is still my hero (well I mean he is my boyfriend...) and the "morning after" scene was fucking brilliant. I think it's funny that there is at least one weird Scottish reference in like 75% of pop culture. Not too shabby for such a wee country.
Okay this has gotten to be a little much. Have a nice day.
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[29 Aug 2009|01:11pm] |
portfolio due monday.
will be a frantic weekend, but then IT'S DONE. and i will be DONE WITH MY MASTERS DEGREE. unbelievable.
really only writing to say:
i said something on Rian Johnson's forum about writing a profile on him/a plea to bring The Brothers Bloom to the UK, and he responded. He typed my name and wrote me a quick message. lamwgsnfvdxlvk go gadget fangirl go. i. love. him. AND he wrote my name and he knows Joseph Gordon-Levitt so through the transitive property it's pretty much like Joseph and I are dating.
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[15 Aug 2009|11:54pm] |
next time i travel anywhere
i want it to be Scandinavia
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[15 Aug 2009|04:36pm] |
In May, I spent a few nights drunk and writing to no one. I'm gonna put most of it up here so I can a) not having to struggle through my penmanship again and b) not lose it. And for procrastination purposes, of course.
There are poems mixed in with rants mixed in with doodles & quotes & other weird things, I'll try to format it as best I can (not that anyone needs to read this)
( stream of consciousness brought about mostly by the letters of charles bukowski )
we'll leave one poem out of the cut that pretty much summarizes it all anyway
this all looks familiar
i know you're thinking it
& that doesn't bother me
maybe i'm trying to write like him
maybe
animals are plastic or
little polystyrene dolls, barking
gods.
WHO CARES
soon enough (it'll feel like time has
barely passed) i'll die
& my friends will die & you will too
& that's it.
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[13 Aug 2009|03:18pm] |
hayyy
what's new, you ask?
well let me tell you.
a) i got a job (!!!) it is not great (i.e. cleaning offices) and it is early early a.m. which means i now wake up at 5 every weekday. BUT i actually really like it. it goes by quickly, the woman i work for/with is quite cool, and i don't have to deal with a lot of people. one of the worst things about working food/retail/customer service (well, besides the customers) is having nothing to do but being forced to look busy. with this, if there's nothing to do it's because everything's done and we move on to the next. aaand i won't lie it's kinda nice being awake in the morning, feeling like it's early afternoon when it's really 930. i usually nap in the afternoons anyway. although now it's 3:22 and i already haven't so i'm just going to suck it up and go to sleep mad early. ANYWAY. no working weekends, done with the work day by like 11 at the absolute latest.
b) my world record procrastination skills are still intact. need to start motivating myself hardcore. possibly by going to the library.
c) exercised (????) yesterday. a.k.a. ran in place in my room just to elevate my heart rate, did 100 jumping jacks, and a few sit ups and push ups, just to get a tiny wee start and hopefully make me do more eventually.
d) just watched Mysterious Skin for the first time. Ohhhhh, joseph g-l, i love you so. i kind of told myself it was uni related because i'm writing a profile on rian johnson, joseph was in Brick, and so on. apparently dissertations don't work the same way as a game of a six degrees of separation. but hey, if you want to hear what i thought about the movie, you could always go to WWW.LAUGHEDLIKE.BLOGSPOT.COM and, i dunno, READ MY BLOG. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MY TWO FOLLOWERS ARE MY MOTHER AND BROTHER.
HAVE YOU NO PITY????
e) phew, sorry about that.
f) or am i?
g) ummm. it was absolutely gorgeous out today while i was at work, and as scotland loves to do it got cloudy and lame as soon as i got home and was about to go to the park. nice.
h) my back has been killing me lately. and not softly, and not with his song.
i) can i stop this list on a vowel?
j) didn't think so.
yiiikes. the letters a-j just kicked your collective ass, flist. they kicked it hard.
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[02 Aug 2009|06:25pm] |
i'm so done for. on episode 6 of season 1 of true blood.
will probably be caught up with season 2 in a day or two. addicting!
and got a job, finally. not too many hours a week and not great pay, but a job. starting at 6 am. ahahaha this should be interesting.
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[01 Aug 2009|01:19am] |
hey dudes/dudettes
please don't forget about
www.laughedlike.blogspot.com
'cause i haven't!
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[23 Jul 2009|01:04am] |
alice in wonderland teaser trailer is out. i had difficulty finding it but then, my #1 and only gossip site (<33333) had it on there, so if you go to page 2 (as of right now) on wwtdd.com you can see it.
had a scottish/english music party with my flatmate chris tonight. we drank & went down the "list of scottish musicians" on wikipedia then just listened to a bunch of amazing british '80s music. then made homemade chips & cheese and a pizza from the co-op. nom.
OH AND we listened to late junction (the best radio show ever created) in surround sound (a.k.a. we both blast it from our respective rooms then sit in the middle).
bought sweet sunglasses today, a few magazines, a few books, and i'm almost ready to retire. going to start running (??????) soon with shannon & chris, if i'm ready i might even attempt running with them in the Great Scottish Run in early september. who knows.
am applying for a job at mailboxes etc. and i better get it or i'll die. literally.
apparently IN THE LOOP comes out in the US in a few days, so y'all BETTER go see it. i've seen it 3 times and it's still fucking hilarious. also i hope everyone saw MOON or we're not friends.
HEY THERE HAVE ALSO BEEN A FEW UPDATES ON HTTP://LAUGHEDLIKE.BLOGSPOT.COM SO YOU'RE GONNA WANNA CHECK THAT OUT. I HAVE ONE BLOG FOLLOWER AND IT'S MY MOTHER. MAKE ME LESS LAME PLEASE.
SoCo is making me feisty. i apologize on behalf of everyone who is involved in making Southern Comfort.
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